How to Handle Working Mom Guilt Like a Pro: Advice I Learned from Dr. Becky Kennedy
If you're a mother, you know that there are moments in motherhood that stop you right in your tracks. Let me share one such moment with you. I was tucking my son into bed, and he said, "Mom, I love your hugs." Naturally, I responded, "Aw buddy, I love your hugs too." Then he asked, "Mom, can I hug you anytime I want?" Of course, I said yes, and he followed with, "Even during your very important work conference calls." Ouch! Guilt hit hard, as it does with many working moms.
Working Motherhood is guilt on steroids. We feel it when we miss a doctor's appointment, hand our kids an iPad to finish work, or fail to be present at home and at work. But what if we changed our perspective on these moments? Instead of thinking our kids believe we've prioritized work over them, consider that they love us and our attention so much.
Guilt isn’t necessarily a sign of wrongdoing; it often signals that we care deeply. In today’s post, I'll share what I’ve learned from Dr. Becky, author of "Good Inside," about handling mom guilt like a pro. By implementing these tips, you can stop the cycle of guilt and start nurturing connection and compassion for your kids and yourself.
Let’s begin with nine transformative tips I learned from following Dr. Becky Kennedy, based on her Good Inside framework:
1. Guilt is a Signal, Not a Sentence
When I first heard Dr. Becky say this, it was like a light bulb went off. We often treat guilt as if it confirms our worst fears. Instead, what if it's simply saying, "Hey, this moment matters"? For example, if you feel guilty for missing bedtime stories, it might signal the importance of family connection in your life. It's not about being a bad mom; it's about acknowledging what matters and making changes from a place of love.
2. You are Good Inside
In moments of stress—like when you've rushed through school drop-off or missed bedtime due to work—remember this: you’re a good parent having a hard time. Your worth is not determined by a challenging evening. Believing this allows us to parent with strength and grace, teaching our kids to understand that mistakes don’t define us.
3. Repair Over Perfection
We hold onto the need to be perfect. But Dr. Becky advises us to focus on repair instead. We will mess up, but we can mend the situation by being honest and reconnecting with our kids. This shows them responsibility, love, and humanity more than any attempt to be perfect ever could.
4. Guilt Means You're Showing Up
When guilt strikes, like after a long business trip, it hurts. But it also means you're present, you care, and you're trying. Let this feeling remind you of your values and that you're showing up with your whole heart.
5. Connection Over Quantity of Time
The myth that more time with kids equals better parenting is just that—a myth. What matters more is how fully you show up during the time you have. Even 10 minutes of undivided bliss can fill your child’s emotional needs immensely.
6. Boundaries Are Not Betrayal
When you hear the voice that says, "If you were a good mom, you’d say yes," remember this: setting boundaries teaches your child that limits are okay and necessary.
7. Let Your Kids See You Struggle and Recover
Your kids don’t need a perfect version of you; they need to see resilience. Dr. Becky encourages us to show our children how to move through tough emotions and recover with love intact.
8. Don’t Compare Your Parenting
We know those staged, serene family photos on Instagram aren't the whole picture. They fuel guilt and unrealistic expectations. Comparison deceives; the reality is that everyone has their challenges, and you're doing just fine.
9. Your Work Can Be a Gift to Your Child
Let's flip the narrative—your work doesn't take you away; it expands the possibilities for your children. You are teaching them that pursuing dreams and passions is valuable.
If you’re a struggling mom battling guilt, burnout, or overwhelm, remember you’re not alone. Join a community like the Working Mama Reset Program for support and navigate the chaos with others who understand. Contact me or download my free working mom planner for additional resources.